Luba Ivanova at The Weekend to End Breast Cancer

This post is by Fabiana Bacchini:

With a master’s degree in Philosophy, she took a job as a cashier in a grocery store. Many of us immigrants can relate to that. The difference is what you do about it? Complain about the situation or use the experience as a stepping stone to something greater?

Our Brilliant Woman of the week can definitely give you a new perspective.

Luba Ivanova, 51 years old, came from Slovakia in 2004 with her husband and two children. Veronika, 20 years old, and Martin 17 years old. “I wanted a better future for them. I wanted them to go to university and get a good education. So moving to Canada was a great option as they could study here and the family would stay together”, explains Luba.

No English, no problem.

She was a high school teacher and came to Canada without speaking any English. Therefore, she had to learn the language in order to get a job. She started English classes five times a week. But it was only through her work at the grocery store that Luba started to communicate better with other people and really understand the culture. “I was happy doing this job”, she adds.

When she felt more confident with the language skills, she started to look for a job she knew how to do best, a kindergarten teacher. To her surprise, her credentials were not recognized and she was told she had to be re-trained.

Luba started to get concerned that her savings would dissipate. Her two children were in university so the family expenses increased considerably. She decided to take an accounting course in order to pursue a new opportunity. She was considering opening a business with her husband, an electrical engineer. “However, I was very impatient and I ended up getting a job in a transportation company”, she says. “I didn’t really want to do this, but I was optimistic that something else was going to show up”.

The Dream

Luba has always stayed connected to her dreams. She started to ask herself: What do I really want to do in Canada? Her focus took her back to the teaching, her passion.

She applied for a license to open a Montessori school. “I created my business plan, but I couldn’t find a place to rent. I have put this project on hold”, she says. “I will do this because I want to help my daughter who will have kids and I want to help other families with young children”, she adds.

What is important about Luba is that she has always taken different courses to improve her English and update her skills. “Everything I have learned in my life helped me. I combine all the information. You never know when you are going to need it”, she emphasizes.

For instance, Luba has been an area manager for a cleaning company for over a year now, where she uses all her accounting skills.

Half Full

“I feel happy now. When I look back I know I made a good decision to come to Canada. In Slovakia I would still be a teacher at the same school. I didn’t use much technology like computers there and here I have learned how to use everything. Here I can dream and make bigger plans”, she explains.

Every year, she sets goals with optimism and positive attitude. One of her goals was to play golf, a hobby that she has taken up for the last five years. “I love it and this is something I wouldn’t be able to do back home”. Luba is always pushing herself to learn new things and fully integrate into this society. “You have to live to experience it”, she says. One of the ‘experiences’ was to do The Weekend to End Breast Cancer, a 60km walk to raise money for Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto. “It was such a great feeling of helping people”, she says with a lot of enthusiasm.

Goal Setting

When I asked her about achieving her goal in Canada, she paused. “Yes, I did achieve what I envisioned. My daughter Veronika graduated in 2010 from the University of Toronto. And Martin is pursuing his master’s degree after spending one year in France on an exchange program”, she celebrates.

“I feel really good here and looking at the bright side of things is what keeps me going”, she finalizes. How wonderful is that?

Luba Ivanova

Luba Ivanovalives in Etobicoke, ON, with her husband and their dog. She has a master’s degree in Philosophy and is an area manager in a big company in Toronto. Veronika got married in June. Martin lives in downtown Toronto. Luba has bigger plans.

This post is by Fabiana Bacchini:

You might ask yourself why a successful doctor leaves everything behind to start over in a new country with three kids and no one to help. Her reason is familiar to many immigrant women in this country: to provide a better future for her kids. Habibah Surani, 53 years old, our Brilliant Woman of the week, took a leap of faith seven years ago. She closed three medical clinics inKuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and moved toToronto with no intention to be re-trained in the medical field as required by the Ontario College of Physicians and Surgeons.

Adjusting

Her first year was all about getting to know her surroundings and making her children feel at home. They took ski and ice skating lessons  in order to embrace the new culture. Habibah enjoys the fact that her children made friends from all over the world and are exposed to different cultures and traditions. “This is the beauty of this multicultural city. Torontonians are so friendly and open which makes it so much easier to blend in”.

In her second year, Habibah began her search for a new career. Back in Malaysia, the family doctor also ran an anti-aging clinic and she decided to follow this passion. Going back to school full time as a single mom was not an option. “I attended several workshops and seminars in theUnited Statesinstead. I bought the latest equipment and opened my own clinic”, she tells us.

Being self-employed all her life gave her the freedom to adjust her time according to her kids’ needs. “Working for someone else was not an option for me. I’ve always been very independent”, she says.

Business in a new country

Habibah faced several challenges as a business owner in her new country. “I had the support of a medical centre in Malaysia and here I had to do everything all by myself from accounting to marketing”, she explains.

Dr. Surani’s willingness to succeed took her out of her comfort zone and after contacting a few people in the media, she was profiled on Breakfast Television, on City TV, a well respected TV show. “I have got a lot of new clients with that exposure”, she celebrates. And many more media exposures followed that.

The beginning was a lot of dedication, many hours of hard work day and night and persistence. “After the third year, it got easier. You can’t give up when the first difficulty appears”

Five years into the business now, Habibah can say confidently that her clinic is established. Even though she is not allowed to work as a ‘doctor’, the fact that her clients know that she is a foreign trained medical doctor, gives them the confidence that they are being well taken care of. “They appreciate the fact that I do everything and they feel my passion”, she adds. The key to any successful business is to do what you love and the rest will follow.

With one business on the right track, she has just started a new one in the wellness industry and is currently looking for new business partners.

The Goal

“I can easily say that I am very happy here and I have reached my goal of giving my children a better education”, she says. Her oldest child is now 22 years old and is a student at the Rotman School of Managment at theUniversityofToronto. The second child is studying Chemical Biology atMcMasterUniversityand the youngest one is in high school.

With their future secured, Habibah is now enjoying the company of her new friends and is ready to have fun travelling.

Dr. Habibah Surani

For more information on Dr. Surani’s treatments and her new business endeavour contact her at: Dr. Habibah Surani – MBBS Medical Esthetics and owner of Surani Clinic, www.suraniclinic.ca, tel: 416- 510-0100, e-mail:  drsurani@suraniclinic.ca.

Guiomar Campbell

The year was 1987. The obstetric nurse moved to Canada with the dream to pursue the same career here. Soon, she found out that she had to go back to school for another four years of training. On top of that, the university did not accept her because her English was not good enough.

In the meantime, her boyfriend gave her a gift certificate for shiatsu massage. She was so fascinated with the results that she decided to become a shiatsu practitioner. Today, Guiomar Campbell, 49 years old, is a Certified Shiatsu Therapist and an Obstetric Nurse with training in acupuncture, aromatherapy and Thai massage and extensive experience treating pregnant women, and those with physical disabilities.

Guiomar is also the creator of Biosync-rhythm motion, a technique that synchronizes the body’s natural rhythms through creative movement, self- shiatsu, and yoga. She integrates expertise in various healing arts and her passion for women’s healthcare into all her treatments.

She lives inToronto,ON, with her husband and two kids Luanna, 14 years old, and Adriano, 10.

We are thrilled to add Guiomar to our team of contributors. She will be writing for BrilliantWoman.net about Women and Wellness.

This post is by Fabiana Bacchini:

Hearing that you have ‘cancer’ must be a moment one never forgets. For this woman that moment was a reality. After one month of crying and despair our Brilliant Woman of the week said to her husband: “Don’t worry. Everything is going to be ok” and she reassured her doctors and nurses: “I’m going to fight that ‘creature’”. The nurse pointed to her head and said: “This is going to cure that”.

Iro Missios, an immigrant from Greece, was determined to fight for her life and to keep her family together. “I realized that my family started to fall apart so I decided to help them. I was always very positive”, she explains.

She came to Canada alone in 1965 when she was only 18 years old. She dreamed of a better life for herself. She was employed with her first job three days after her arrival here in a clothing store and attended night school four times a week to learn English. One month later, she met Andy, also a Greek immigrant. They were married one year later. Iro decided to stay home to raise their 3 children. “I fought very hard to keep the culture alive, to keep the language. They all went to Greek school, Greek dance class and church. The teenager years were more challenging, but now they are proud of their heritage”, she adds.

After 16 years at home, she started to help her husband at their pharmacy. However, she always had a dream of starting her own business. After her surgery in 98, she was given the paperwork to apply for disability. “No way I want that. I want to work. I don’t want to stay home and feel sorry for myself”, she says. She went back to the pharmacy and in 2004 her big dream was about to come true.

She started a small business in the basement of her husband’s pharmacy with her daughter. They started to import underwear from Greece and distribute it in Canada. “The disease gave me the strength to open my own business. I could do anything now”, she tells me. One year later, Iro opened her own retail store. “I didn’t want to think that I was going to get sick again and I kept going”. Her wholesale business is now operating across the country. And to celebrate her 10th anniversary of being cancer free, Iro participated in The Weekend to End Breast Cancer in Toronto. “It was such a wonderful experience. I will never forget that”.

I asked her what advice she would give to someone going through the disease right now and she says: “keep fighting and never give up. Look forward to all the things that you want to do”. This attitude certainly gave her the power to keep her alive and live life beyond cancer.

Iro Missios

Iro Missios lives in Toronto with her husband, her 3 children and 6 grandchildren.

To contact her:

Underworld – 3084 Dundas Street West, Toronto, ON

Tel: 416-766-3373

e-mail: bmnimports@hotmail.com

This post is by Fabiana Bacchini:

Her journey in Canada started 10 years ago. Nellie Terzieva, 45 years old, from Bulgaria, came to Toronto with a Masters Degree in Agricultural Economics and Management and an MBA from the University of Central Florida (UFC) where she also worked as assistant professor.

With incredible work experience in the US including working in the green house industry as well as at world-renowned corporations, Nellie thought it would be easy to get a job here in Canada. Her disappointment came when she started to hear from employers that she was overqualified.

The quick solution was to get a job at Starbucks. However, our Brilliant Woman of the week didn’t stop there. She started thinking outside the box on how to make a better living.

With a small business plan in mind, Nellie started to host international students. “It was an amazing experience. I had students from more than 30 countries and from ages 8 to 45”, says Nellie. “I taught the young ones to take care of themselves and to help around the house so they would do the same when they went back home”.

Soon she found out she was pregnant and no longer wanted to keep her job at Starbucks. Stoyan (Antony) Ivanov was born in 2004.

The diagnosis

When Stoyan was almost six years old he stopped talking. Nellie took him to numerous specialists in Canada and the US and he was eventually diagnosed with autism.

Nellie found a program at the Institute for the Achievement of Human Potential in Philadelphia. It was there that Stoyan started walking, reading and pronouncing more than 60 words. “It is a very expensive treatment and has to be continuous. Every time we go there we spend almost nine thousand dollars which I have to pay from my own pocket”, explains Nellie. The expenses include supplements,  the programs Stoyan attends, equipment, materials for teaching at home, transport and accommodation.

Nellie has no financial support from Stoyan’s father or from the government. Her parents moved to Canada from Bulgaria to help with their grandson and support their daughter emotionally.

Unfortunately, Stoyan cannot continue the treatment at this time because of the costs. “There must be at least two visits every year”. In addition, he needs supportive therapies which are not covered by OHIP, such as CranioSacral Therapy, Annet Baniel Therapy, Oxygen Chamber and other prescribed therapies that could be beneficial.

Searching for solutions

Nellie with Stoyan

With her son at home full time, Nellie had to stop hosting students. One of her solutions was to start a home day care. “The kids interact well with Stoyan and help him. As well, he can see how the kids develop which is great”, she says.

Stoyan who is now 7 years old cannot go to school so she teaches him at home. Nellie explained that if the child’s ‘problem’ does not fall into the main stream of regular therapies it is more difficult to get help. “I have applied for Intensive Behavioral Therapy Programs in Toronto, but he wasn’t approved”.

Besides the day care, Nellie received her real estate license four years ago in an effort to help other families, especially immigrants. “I love to help new immigrants get their first home here because we all come with the dream of owning our homes”.

Nellie explains that this is her evening and weekend job. “Time is limited so I have to work with what I have”.

Nellie’s mind is always working on making more money to help her son’s recovery. Recently, she joined a network marketing company, a great business model that does not require many hours of work.

Fundraising

The efforts to raise money for Stoyan haven’t come only from Nellie’s numerous working hours. Her friends from Bulgaria initiated HOPE FOR STOYAN fundraising and events campaign. The first event was last year and they were able to raise two thousand dollars of which will be used towards his recovery and speech development.

After the event, Nellie started the HEALTHY AND HAPPY CHILDREN FOUNDATION. “My dream is to help other children to improve their lives sooner than my son”, concludes Nellie.

Nellie Terzieva lives in Toronto with her son Stoyan and her parents. For more information on Stoyan’s treatment or if you would like to make a donation, contact Nellie at: 416-820-5551;  e-mail: highparktoronto@rogers.com or visit www.healthyandhappychildren.com and www.healthytorontohomes.com

Dr. Andreia Scalco

This post is by Fabiana Bacchini:

Six years of medical school, three years of residency, four years of a Master’s Degree, five years of work experience  and her credentials were not enough once she moved to Canada. Andreia Scalco, 39 years old, like many other foreign trained doctors, had to apply for residency to get her license from the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Canada to be able to be recognized and work as a doctor here.

“I had an idea about how to get the license because my sister had gone through the same route a few years before. However, everything had changed when my husband and I arrived in 2004”, explains Andreia.

Our Brilliant Woman of the Week considered giving up once she found out the residency would take her another three to four years after she was selected. However, her husband who is also a doctor liked the quality of life this country provides.

The process

Andreia decided to stay and pursue her career. To start: two English exams and one in general medicine. Other prerequisites necessary in order to apply for a residency included: a practical exam, a theory exam, resume analysis and an interview. Many other exams were necessary along the way.

“The process is frustrating because it is not based on the individual doctor’s knowledge. It’s based on what everybody does. Besides, you have to take into account the culture shock and the language barrier”, she tells us. “My English was very good, but the terms and expressions used in the field were different. It took me some time to become familiar and comfortable with the language”.

After one year of hard work, Andreia was accepted and began her residency at McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario.

Her efforts were soon recognized and Andreia landed her first job as a doctor at McMaster where she ended up working for two years.

“It was great because usually immigrant doctors are sent to an under serviced area to work for five years before getting a job in the main cities”, she explains.

In 2011, Andreia started to work at Women’sCollege Hospital inToronto, where her focus is on psycho-oncology. Her work is to support patients with cancer.

The perseverance and recognition

Even though Andreia feels that there is a certain ‘distrust’ at the work place when it comes to foreign doctors, she doesn’t regret staying in Canada.

“It is easier to raise a family here. Besides, the work hours are respected, the salary is better, there are good public schools, public health care and it is safer”, she adds.

Dr. Scalco told us that it is not easy to enter the system and gave us a great lesson of perseverance and humility: “you have to become the student again and also do a lot of work on yourself”, she explains. This is possibly the formula for her success.

We asked for her advice for the new immigrant doctors arriving in Canada and she confidently said: “you have to be aware that it is a long and hard process. It is a great idea to do a lot of research and do a fellowship to make sure this is what you want. Patience and perseverance are the key ingredients because it all pays off in the end”, she concludes.

Dr. Andreia Scalco

Dr. Andreia Scalco is a psychiatrist. She works and lives in Toronto with her husband and her two beautiful daughters Isabela and Bianca.

This post is by Fabiana Bacchini:

Looking for a safer life, she arrived in Toronto in the middle of the winter 14 years ago. Cindy Sacks and her husband Ronnie left South Africa with very little knowledge about the work opportunity in Canada. Our Brilliant Woman of the Week knew she could pursue her career as a kindergarten teacher. However, the school year had started in September and it was January so Cindy could not get a job right away.

“We needed money so I decided to start a home day care”, she says. She worked long hours with no help. The kids arrived at6.30amand she had them all day until7pm.

On the weekends, Cindy joined her husband in a store in downtown Toronto. “I don’t know how we were able to afford anything. We were making very little money”, she explains. “I don’t know how we made ends meet”.

Even though the times were tough for the young couple, Cindy remained positive. “Immigration can destroy your marriage or make it stronger”, she tells us. But they did not give up.

After one and a half years with the day care, Cindy decided to work with her sister selling promotional products. Shortly after, she got pregnant. As she couldn’t afford to stay home, she started to look for a nanny.

The new business

“When I started to look for a nanny I saw a possibility to have this as a business. It would give me flexible hours and I could be around. This could be my job”, she says.

Cindy drove all around Toronto to interview nannies, to learn the business and spent hours on the Internet researching the rules and regulations of the business. Her first client was happy and the business started to grow by word of mouth. She realized she could make money doing it. Nannies Inc. was born!

“I didn’t have any formal training for this business, there was no course to take. I learned from my mistakes”, she says.

In the beginning, Cindy said, it was frustrating because you deal with the government and you have no control over it. As the business grew, the nannies started to come from abroad, especially from the Philippines.

Working from home is challenging and for Cindy it wasn’t different. “I didn’t know the balance between work and time with the family. I learned to be very disciplined and divide the hours for the family and work”. This kind of work involves a lot of evenings as most clients work all day and the nannies are abroad.

The success

It took some time for Cindy to start to make money but she was patient. With a second child on the way, she knew that this business was a perfect fit for her.

When I asked her what was the secret of her success she didn’t hesitate to say that honesty and always telling people the truth are the best ingredients for any business to succeed.

Cindy does her best to match her clients with the nannies. “The nanny becomes an addition to the family and that’s great”.

But there is more to it, Cindy talks about her business with love and passion. She knows she is making a difference in many people’s lives not only of the families who are looking for extra help, but also on the nannies who dream of a better life in Canada.

“It’s rewarding to see these women making their dreams come true. They leave everything behind including families and their own children to seek more opportunities and reunite with them in the future here”.

Cindy Sacks is the owner of Nannies Inc. She lives in Thornhill, ON, with her husband Ronnie and her two kids Jordan and Emmaruby. For more information, visit her website: www.nanniesinc.ca  or contact her at : nanniesinc@rogers.com

This post is by Fabiana Bacchini:

Her desire for change empowered her to overcome an addiction of over 12 years. “The doctor told me I was going to die if I carried on drinking”, says Maria Connie Garcia, 53 years old, our Brilliant Woman of the week. “It was a miracle. I just stopped one day and that was it”, she celebrates.

Connie moved to Canada from Portugal with her parents and two siblings when she was only 17 years old. The family had a hard time making ends meet back home and they already had 5 kids living in Strathroy,Ontario, which made the decision to immigrate easier.

 As soon as they arrived, Connie started to work in a furniture factory. Speaking the language was her main problem so she decided to attend night school to learn English. “I ended up working at the furniture factory for 15 years. I was making money so life was ok”, she says.

 The beginning of her addiction

 One day, Connie had an anxiety attack at work. “I didn’t really know what had happened. Then I came home and I had a glass of wine. It felt really good”, she explains. At that time she was living with one of her brothers and she started to drink more and more everyday. Her brother stopped talking to her. The situation was really bad.

 One year, Connie went to Portugal and met a guy there. He moved to Canada and they got married. She said she does not remember her wedding day because she was drunk. Everything started to get out of control, but she still managed to buy a house in Strathroy and get a job at a nursery. Her husband was working on a turkey farm, but Connie was the main breadwinner. “One day I couldn’t handle it anymore and I gave the house to the bank and left my husband. I lost everything, including my job”, she says.

 On top of that, her health started to show the signs of her addiction. She developed liver problems. “I had to go on welfare”, she explains.

 One day, Connie went to Toronto and decided that soon she was going to move there. So, she started helping in a church and one of the members brought her to Toronto to help. “I was still drinking but not as much”.

Overcoming alcohol

 In Toronto, Connie met Fernanda, also a Portuguese immigrant. They became friends and she invited Connie to live with her.  “Fernanda didn’t put up with me or agreed with what I was doing”. One day Connie drank so much, Fernanda told her if you keep drinking you will have to get out of my house. “That was a big wake up call and soon after that the doctor told me I was going to die because I was really sick”, she adds. She stopped drinking overnight and since then has not had any cravings. “If I hadn’t moved toToronto, I would be dead by now”, she says.

Fernanda and Connie fell in love with each other. “She was the one who helped me get through a very difficult time in my life. My family didn’t want to have anything to do with me and she took care of me”, she tells us.

 Connie started to get her life back on track. In the beginning she was cleaning a building as she had no strength to do anything else. Counseling played an important role on her road to recovery. For many years she had to take pills to improve her memory. In 2000, she stopped the pills and a few years later got a job with the government at the Ministry of Children and Youth Services. She now works at a jail in Milton.

Catching up with life

“Thirty years ago, I was nothing. Now I feel like a million dollar woman. I’m happy and I’m healthy. I feel like I’m 30 years old”, she celebrates.

 One year ago, Connie started her own business in the wellness industry through network marketing. She has big plans of buying a house, her own car and to live a very long life. “I have to live my life now because I didn’t before. Besides, I have a dream to help people, especially children”.

 Her message is to BELIEVE that there is a new beginning. “Get out of the hole because there is something better. There is always a way if we let people help us. There is always a door open”, she concludes.

We, at  Brilliant Woman, want to thank Connie for sharing such a personal journey of courage, strength and determination to take control of her life.

Maria Connie Garcia

Maria Connie Garcia is a Vemma brand partner. She lives in Mississauga, ON, with her partner of 16 years, Fernanda. To contact Connie, send her an e-mail to maria_connie_garcia@hotmail.com

This post is by Marija Bojic:

My name is Marija Bojic and I am an immigrant woman from former Yogoslavia. I came to Canada desiring peaceful life, education, and a better life for my family.

As I was leaving the war- torn country, I thought that witnessing such tragedies as friends and family being brutally killed was going to come to an end. Losing several family members and several friends including my very close friend Zrinko left me with a lot of fear for my loved ones.

After coming to Canada, finishing the Nursing School and getting my dream job, I met Sonia who I regarded to be the loveliest person I met in a long time.

She worked hard, was always honest and understanding of others. She had strength to advocate for people who were not able to advocate for themselves. She was always on the side of vulnerable people (immigrants, people living in poverty, single mothers, people who did not speak English well or were not familiar with Canadian health care system).

We used to go out together, dancing, shopping….

I was planning Zumba ®Fitness party for September and Sonia was thrilled to RSVP to attend. “Finally, I can dance and not be dependent on finding a partner. I can dance on my own terms!” She was excited to come all the way from Orangeville to this event.

One afternoon in August of 2010, I was watching TV when I saw that she was pronounced to be missing. The way the scene was described did not give a lot of hope that she would ever be found alive. After a week, her body was discovered.

This incident was very disturbing to me and had brought back many of my memories from Sarajevo. I left my home without many memories (such as pictures) of my lost loved ones. I felt alone and helpless yet one more time.

But this time, I decided to create a memory for Sonia.

I spent many days thinking what to do and how to do it. One day,the  idea came to my mind that I could organize a memorial scholarship through Registered Nurses Association of Ontario.

The event would be a mix of Zumba ® Fitness and dance , which would be dedicated to remembering Sonia. I also found that organizing this event helped me with grieving process.

There were (and still are) good days and bad days; days when I feel hopeful that violence will stop to exist; there are days when I feel vulnerable, afraid for my loved ones and insecure of the safety in this world.

The event took place on February 4th 2012, and it was a great success.

It was supported by her Sonia’s family, the public, nursing organizations and Zumba ® Instructors. This event was regarded to be an act of kindness and acknowledgement of Sonia’s life, as well as creating lasting legacy in her memory.

Registered Nurses Foundation supports Ontario nurses in pursuit of their academic work as well as knowledge advancement. The scholarship in Memory of Sonia will focus on supporting nurses who are through their academic work involved in projects related to healthy work environments. That is, focusing on a culture grounded in respect and equity in workplace. That is the work-life that Sonia enjoyed and advocated for.

The next Fundraiser is scheduled for February 23rd 2012, 6pm, at St Michael College School. We are looking forwards to executing yet another fundraiser for this great cause.
For more information, please visit
http://inmemoryofsonia.com/  or,
http://zumbaclassesintoronto.com/zumba-r-fitness-fundraiser-in-memory-of-sonia-varaschin

This post is by Bibi K.:

BE STRONG; BE PATIENT; BE WARY; HOLD FIRMLY TO YOUR BELIEFS; YOU WILL SURVIVE AND SUCCEED.

When we come to this country for the first time, it is a very overwhelming experience. Whether we come from a third world country where the socio economic conditions are not so great, or whether we come from a country that is more financially viable, we have to go through certain rigors of assimilation and they can be brutal.

Many of us coming to America for the first time do so on our own. We leave family, friends, loved ones and familiar surroundings in search of a better future for ourselves and our families. Some of us do not even speak English and it is remarkable and sometimes beyond comprehension that we are able to cope.

In our home countries many of us did not work and were primarily home makers; taking care of the children and our husbands who went to work and provided for us. Here we are expected to earn our own livelihoods, provide food, clothing and shelter as well as send money back home to help take care of the rest of the family.

Most of the time we have to leave our children. What is this like? Ask any mother what it feels like to be separated from her child for a week or two and then mutiply that grief to the nth degree. Even then, words cannot express the anguish and heartbreak a mother feels at being separated from her child/children.

Add to that our parents and our siblings with whom we were surrounded since birth. All these familiar faces and support systems that we were accustomed to are taken away and we are left naked, lonely, lost and forlorn.

This is when our inner strength has to kick in. Do we run back and succumb to defeat, or do we stand up and fight with every fiber of our being? We can do it, I know we can, because I have been there and done that!

We only have to remember that we do not want to survive at the expense of others. Never give up when the going gets tough .. we have to make sacrifices if we want to accomplish anything in life. When we are faced with hardships, we need to dig deep down within and find the resources to propel us forward. It is remarkable that we do not know what we are capable of until we are put to the test.

There will be many sleepless nights when you will toss and turn and pray and ask:
“Why am I here? What am I doing in a land so far away?”
“Where are my children and did they have a decent meal today?”

You will have nightmares about your children or your family members going hungry or suffering when you are well fed, but you cannot feel guilty about those things. You can only endure so much mental torture and as much as you can, try to put away all these negative thoughts. And, above all, do not ever think about ways to end your life because it is becoming very unbearable. No amount of worry or struggle is worth giving up on life, for every day that we awaken, it is a new dawn with new possibilites and who knows, tomorrow may be the day that your struggles will be over.

Never give up your values and beliefs – especially your faith in a Higher Power – whatever you percieve Him to be. Your belief system is your code of life and if you give up too much in trying to assimilate, you may end up losing your entire being and thus lose your way. There are times when inexplicable things happen, reminding us that there is a force beyond our realm of comprehension.

Maintain your self respect and never, ever succumb to temptations and weaknesses especially when it comes to drugs and alcohol. One woman who came here by herself from an island country was so intelligent that she raised her first child and he became a College Graduate. However, she soon got caught up with alcohol and drugs and when she was about to deliver her second child, the ambulance had to pick her up, drunk on the streets.

Eventually her older son had to step in and adopt his younger brother, because his mother had fallen by the wayside. Just be aware that there is a very thin line between walking the straight and narrow path and going astray.

The world is still full of kind and generous people – they appear at the most crucial moments. However, be cautious and wary of the many wolves in sheep’s clothing. Remember because of your circumstances, there may be many people who would try to take advantage of your moments of weakness, so be STRONG, yet gentle to yourself.

Never give up on your quest to fulfil your dreams and your goals. They give you purpose and a reason to keep going, day in and day out. After all your hardships, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

There will be many times when you feel like you have nothing left and there is no purpose in going on, DO NOT LOSE FOCUS. If your children are the light at the end of your tunnel, then use that as your guiding force. Let that thought and that purpose occupy your mind and your soul – let them be the reason for waking up every day.
When your family joins you, do you think that will be the end of your journey? A resounding NO!! That is when you have to make your struggles count. Do not ever think, I can now relax because I have succeeded in bringing them to America.

This is where all your strength and courage will be tested. Even though you may be weary to the bone, you now have added responsibilities. The responsibility of securing a good education for your children. If you do not accomplish anything else, let this be your number one goal. Once your children have acquired a proper education, your struggles will now have purpose. If not, it will all have been in vain.

And after they finally join you and you hear one of them say, “I will not let my mother’s sacrifice be in vain!”
It will all be worth it a million times over. The most rewarding part about all of this is to be able to look back and say, I did this and I survived. Please do not give up hope! When your dreams are fulfilled, and trust me they will be, you will feel an extreme sense of “Euphoria” and it will ALL be worth it.

Bibi K. is a native of Guyana. She is now a United States Citizen who lives in Queens, NY along with her two children and her grand child. She is happily remarried and still working as an Executive Assistant in a very renowned company in Manhattan. She recently published her first book, The Green Grass, which tells the gripping story of a single mother coming to America.

To learn more about Bibi, please visit her blog or connect with her on social media:

Blog: http://bibisingh.wordpress.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BibiSingh2

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/BIBI-K/471349182896757

Eye on Wellness

This post is by Ritva Dale:

I had no reason to dream of another life while growing up in Finland. I had my parents and two younger brothers living under the same roof. My parents provided us a wonderful home that they built from scratch by hand with some help from their friends. We always ate well. My dad is a hunter and a fisherman and vegetables, fruit and berries were always found in the garden in our front yard. I had my best friend living in the same neighborhood and lots of other friends as well.

I’m not sure exactly when I started to dream about a life in America. It started small and the more I dreamt about it, the stronger it got. Finally, I could feel it in my whole being as if it was already true. I didn’t know at the time that I had set an intention and now I just had to figure out how to make it happen.

My best friend and another friend started talking about going to London for three months to work as an au pair. They asked me to go too. As exciting as that sounded, it was not the step to my dream. It gave me an idea to look into an au pair program in America. I found one, found a family and few months later I was all set to take off to America for one full year.

I packed up my big pink backpack, put on my favorite brown leather coat, waived goodbye to my parents and stepped on to the plane that took me to my big adventure.

The American Dream

When I first arrived in New York City, we had a three-day training, before we moved on to the family that we had chosen. I met my fellow au pairs from all over the world. I quickly realized that I was one of the few that did not miss home. Some of them had really difficult time adjusting and some had to leave early to go back home. I think the reason why I was so comfortable was because I was living the dream that I had felt so strongly about. I was excited that my dream was coming true.

My original plan was to stay in America for a year, then go to Germany for one year and finish my adventure in Australia before returning back to Finland and live happily ever after with a great job using all the languages that I had learned.

Well, that’s not what ended up happening.  I have been living in good old Pennsylvania for 23 years now. Have not made it to Germany or Australia yet.

My earlier years as a “resident alien” had some challenges, but over all I stayed healthy. I was fortunate to have wonderful people in my life that helped me get accustomed to a different life style. Later on I became a citizen, felt good not to be an “alien” anymore. My most incredible accomplishment was when I had my wonderful baby daughter; everything about her has always been perfect. She is 16 now and is becoming a wonderful young adult, ready to take on the world.

The Changes

It was about 15 years ago when my life changed as far as my health was concerned. A lime disease tick “attacked” me. I went on few years not knowing that I had the disease and when it was finally diagnosed I had to get on a medication for a long time.  I started having other health issues as well and gained some weight. So needless to say, I was not very happy. I needed to do something. The new dream was born…to be well again. Intention was set, now I just had to figure out how to get it done. I read all the books on different diets, tried them all. Joined the weight watchers, lost weight, but still wasn’t feeling that good. Something was still wrong.

The next step was to find help. I  found a great naturopathic doctor and nutritionist and started to feel better, but still not completely well. It wasn’t until one day out of the blue, I was introduced to a nutrition school in New York City. The moment I heard a few details about it, I was sold. I knew this was the answer. I knew that everything that I had learned so far and the process of helping myself would be beneficial to others. I wanted to be certified to be able to do that. That’s when my life changed for the better. Not only did I finally figure out how to eat what my body needed in order to become and stay healthy, but also I made wonderful friends and I had a new career.

More Dreams

Having dreams is a funny thing…it never ends. When I received my certification as a health coach, I realized that food is very important piece of the puzzle, but having the life of your dreams includes more than that. You will need to have balance in your life, including the correct diet, proper exercise, getting rid of limiting beliefs and negative emotions and detoxing. Somewhere in there you will need some supplementation as well.

When I realized that coaching only the nutrition didn’t give me the tools to help my clients fully…yet another dream was born. I needed to learn how to get rid of negative emotions and limiting beliefs that hold my clients back from the life that is satisfying to them. Intention was set again and what do you know, email comes to my mailbox that took me to another adventure – Toronto, Canada. This training took me to another level that I could not have even imagined. My biggest discovery was that I was afraid to be me, because I was afraid to do the wrong thing. I always thought that life should be lived in a certain way and that you don’t have much control over what happens. Many hours of training in Toronto and eventually finishing a trainer level training in Las Vegas gave me the tools to heal, confidence to be ME and be in charge of my life.

I have many more dreams for the future. Dreams are important and fun part of life. I love to look back on my dreams and see how they DO come true.

Happy dreaming,

Ritva

Ritva Dale

Ritva A. Dale -  Certified Wellness Coach and NLP Trainer. She is the founder and CEO of Eye on Wellness LLC in Kennett Square, PA

Ritva’s scope of practice includes Individual Coaching, Wellness Seminars, Success Seminars and NLP Practitioner Trainings all over the world

to the men and women that are looking to live healthy and successful lives. To contact Ritva send her an email to ritva@eyeonwellness.com

visit her website www.eyeonwellness.com